Relationships are one of the most critical parts of the human existence, both our relationship with God and with others. Relationships can make or break you worship.
Relationships matter.
For the Worship Leader, building and developing lasting relationships is essential for any future success in ministry. Relationships are the meter which determines if your ministry fails or flourishes. 1 Corinthians 1:10 tells us, “I appeal to you, brothers, by the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, that all of you agree, and that there be no divisions among you, but that you be united in the same mind and the same judgment.” Solid biblical relationships are even more crucial as a Church Leader. Being a relational leader takes hard work, but the results are so worth it.
Unity is key to relationships of any type, especially within a multigenerational church. Bob Kauflin says, “The scattered church throughout the week is still the church. But gathering together is a physical demonstration and reminder of our distinctness from the world and our unity in the gospel. We show that we’ve been drawn apart from the world and drawn together to God.”[1]
Worship is primarily a relationship. When we worship, we commune with God. This is our time spent in His presence, whether we worship corporately or privately. When we enter His presence, we bring Him our cares and concerns, we listen for His voice and we praise Him. As worship leaders, we are relationship leaders. We lead others to the throne of grace. However, this is not where our responsibility with our relationships end.
In religion, the primary indicator of a meaningful relationship is discipleship. Jesus told us in one of His last directives to go and make disciples.[2] Today’s generation of church-goers has far more outside influences than any of the generations that came before. It is because of this that the church, needs to redirect its focus on building the body of Christ as a whole and complete unit.
One church. One mission. One calling.
More and more churches are emphasizing small groups. Small groups allow people to open up their lives to each other in a more intimate setting than a larger corporate service. My wife and I are blessed with an incredible small group. We call ourselves the “Young Adults,” but we’re not so young anymore. But, let me tell you, when I know I have a group of likeminded believers in my corner that love and support me, that is worship.
As a worship leader, I try to be as involved with as many people as I can. I want to get to know them, their family, and how I can better serve them. Blackaby says, “Those in prominent positions must always remember that without followers, they are not leaders.”[3] At the church we serve, my wife and I are involved in one of the healthiest small groups I’ve ever encountered. We are literally “doing life” together. We know we are being prayed for. We can call any of these men and women at a moment’s notice. We are literally fighting our spiritual battles with some of the finest soldiers in the Lord’s army. What a blessing!
Where our strengths lie is usually where we are most successful. I consider myself a good worship planner, and I can execute a worship service well. Beyond the task of planning and leading worship services, I also invest in relationships with other people, inside and outside our small group. I do this by meeting with individuals for lunch or just having a cup of coffee together. Through this intentionally relational time I learn more about how each individual can contribute to the mission of the church, whether in worship or not. I learn how the church can serve them. I learn their stories and what God is doing in their lives. Not only am I making a commitment to getting to know the person, but I am also providing them an opportunity to serve and be served.
Developing a plan for building and maintaining relationships is key. As with any career, relationships are an essential part of the work. However, there are elements of these relationships that can be difficult to maintain or even troublesome for even the most experienced worship leaders. Navigating relationships through a biblical plan established early in your career can only serve to protect your ministry and family. No matter what relationship you may encounter, you must approach it with the love and grace of Jesus Christ. In his book The Pastor’s Handbook John Bisagno says, “The shepherd is always in front of the sheep, and he is out there alone. He is the leader and enjoys the privilege of leadership. But he is always the first to lay down his life for his sheep, to fight and even die in their defense.”[4] As the Worship Leader, you must be willing to go beyond the normality of leading worship, you must invest in the lives of others.
Relationships are important . . . really important. For some, building lasting relationships with others will come easy, but for others it will take work. Nevertheless, each of us should follow the example Jesus set before us. “This is my commandment, that you love one another, just as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this, that one lay down his life for his friends.”[5] Jesus built lasting relationships with His disciples, but more importantly He demonstrated a relational lifestyle with those whom He encountered throughout His ministry. He intentionally sought out those relationships. If we are to make a greater impact in our personal ministry for the cause of Jesus Christ, we have to invest in relationships that matter.
[1] Bob Kauflin, True Worshipers: Seeking What Matters to God (Wheaton, Illinois: Crossway, 2015), 77.
[2] Matthew 28:19-20.
[3] Henry T. Blackaby and Richard Blackaby, Spiritual Leadership: Moving People On to God’s Agenda (Nashville, Tenn.: Broadman & Holman Publishers, 2001), 218.
[4] John R. Bisagno, Pastor’s Handbook, [rev.]. ed. (Nashville, Tenn.: B & H Books, 2011), 97.
[5] John 15:12-13 NASB
Earnest Worship 
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